Role Changes

So back to the circle theme - my family is poised for some drastic role changes. We're going to have new aunts, new parents and new grandparents in the next few weeks. We'll layer these roles over our current roles of children and parents. I suppose there is already a script of sorts, the new parts we'll play have been played by others before us and we'll surely draw from the previous productions. But, we'll be playing out this version in a new setting and the new dad brings experiences that the other players don't know about. That should shake things up a bit!

I was thinking about all of this as I was driving back from a visit with my daughter and son-in-law. They will be parents the next time I see them. I have a lot of confidence in their parenting abilities. They are level-headed young people who come from supportive homes and have a strong marriage. They'll have a great time with this baby. I'm not as confident of my ability to play the grandmother role.

I see the grandmother position as one of advisor, supporter, cheerleader. I believe in raising independent children and I think I've done a good job of that. So, have I left myself room for the grandmother part I want to play? Will the new mom and dad ask for the advice I'll want to give? And if they don't ask, will I feel compelled to offer that advice anyway? I didn't ask for advice from my children's grandparents; did I hurt their feelings? Did they want to be more included in their children's lives as parents?

I'll just wait for the moment. The baby will arrive, the new aunts and the new grandparents will congratulate the new parents and we'll all get to see the circle rotate a little as we live in the circle game.

The picture shows Megan holding the quilt Aunt Kathy made from fabric purchased by Grandma F. who died before Megan and Kristopher got married. So there's a circle within a circle, Grandma F.'s influence is here. And with her presence, a role model for new grandmothers. I am grateful.